Smooth transition from family bed to crib - Lisanne and Amber (4y) Arnoud (1y)

by Astrid
(Nederland)

Our twin daughters have always easily self soothed to sleep. Arnoud, the youngest shared our family bed for almost a year and then transitioned to his own crib in his own room very easily.

About our children

Lisanne and Amber are twins. Lisanne is an affectionate and busy little girl. She can not focus on the same thing for long. She's quite a girlie girl, she is interested in fashion, make-up and colours ...

Amber is quite affectionate too and also a bit of a clown, she loves soccer, and she is crazy about any sport on TV.

Arnoud is a very easy little fellow. He can enjoy him all alone quite well, he laughs a lot. He is quite a breast addict. He loves animals, and none of them scares him.

About crying and nights

We never let our kids cry: when they cry I'm always going right in. I never let them cries as little babies, and I do not let them cry now that they are bigger.

Now it is often a bad dream or they need to go to the toilet.

The youngest, Arnoud, of course, sometimes calls me for a breast feeding at night. Well, it's more need for mommy than hunger, but to me that does not matter, I'm there for him.

My best advice?

I strongly believe in "something is only a problem if you experience it as a problem yourself. It is not a problem because others tell you it is."

Many people will ask you "does your baby sleep through the night yet?". That can make you feel like it is wrong for your baby not to sleep through. But as long as YOU do not find that a problem and lovingly get up at night to be there for your child: there is no problem and no need to find a solution.

However, when the moment comes that you feel there is a problem, that is when you can start looking for a solution, not earlier.

How our babies have been sleeping

The girls have never had trouble with soothing themselves to sleep. They had no need for breast or bottle: just a bedtime routine and many hugs and then they slept! They did not always sleep through of course but a quick hug, sometimes a bottle and then all was fine again.

I breastfed the twins for 4 months. They are 4 years old now and Lisanne always sleeps through, Amber just needs to pee from time to time.

Arnoud will only sleep when I nurse him, it was like that from the start. He has slept in bed with us for quite a long time. I did it mainly out of laziness, when he woke up, I latched him and off we went all back to sleep again!

When he was 10 months old, he moved into his own room. At first I had a single bed mattress there so I did not have to move him around after nursing him to sleep (he used to wake up when I moved him at first).

After a few weeks though, this became too dangerous, as he was starting to move around a lot. So we decided to but him in the crib. And that went really well: he doesn?t wake up when, I put him down and he sleeps very well!

So you see, you often hear "Gosh if he sleeps in bed with you, it will be so hard to get rid of that habit! You'd better start transitioning him to his own crib or he will never learn it".

I got that advice when he was half a year or so. But if you want to force things when they are not ready then it is indeed difficult.

Doing things at their own pace, when your baby is ready, that is when things go smoothly. Transitioning from our bed to his own crib has been gentle and easy for Arnoud and it is so wonderful that it can also be that way, without a struggle.

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