Co-sleeping can be such a wonderful experience. When done safely, which is absolutely critical, it can also actually help you and your baby sleep more, protect your baby,
make night feeds easier and improves bonding. But for completeness let's look at some downsides too.
Disclaimer: Unsafe co-sleeping can kill your baby. The author(s) of this article are not responsible for your child's safety: applying these guidelines properly and appropriately for your unique situation, and ensuring your baby's safety is your own responsibility (
You may be a convinced co
sleeper. Or, if you are like me and
so many other parents, you have probably
in your bed every now and then.
You know, when after the
night feeding your baby refuses to go back to sleep for hours, and just
Desperate, feeling guilty, you put her next to you in bed and
... she dozes off so peacefully. That is
the power of co sleeping
your baby feels safe and secure and that works like a magic sleep
--- Remember, this
co sleeping is fine, and it can be a real life saver to get at least
some sleep but please, please make sure to take apply
co-sleeping safety precautions
, even if you only take your baby in your bed just once every now and then!
Regularly sharing the family bed with your baby has interesting
advantages for both
you and your baby:
: all babies sleep better when they feel safe and
secure. Especially in those first months, your presence is all the
reassurance she needs to become confident at sleeping.
Baby may be protected by your presence
in those first months, your presence when baby sleeps is a top
protector in the battle against SIDS, or cot death. SIDS studies show
that your presence somehow helps regulate baby's breathing and heart
rate. And it allows you to react (instinctively) when something goes
guidelines for more on avoiding SIDS. This is valid both when using a sidecar cosleeper crib or a standalone crib in your room.
: most parents - even many not so keen on the family
bed - sleep better with their baby near: it feels
feel and hear baby close by (without having to get up and go check 10s
times each night). A
takes away the worries some have with having baby in
just draw baby closer to feed, then gently shift her back. This
disturbs both her and your sleep the least (as opposed to getting up,
going to the crib, getting out of the crib, off to feed, back in the
crib, ... waking you all up completely), also when
: being so close to your baby when sleeping &
waking at night is a great way to improve bonding.
co sleeping often makes it easier to keep breastfeeding, which again
benefits both you and your baby.
Sharing the family bed can be lovely, yes. But I still think it's
look at some downsides too. Because it doesn't work out for everyone.
And it does not make sense to rave about how great something is,
without also thinking of what could be less great. That will help you
make your own best choice.
if cosleeping is not done safely, there is a risk for your baby to die
- when you roll on top of her or she gets covered under the
sleep for baby
: some babies - especially from 4-6 months
onwards, are very lightly awakened by their parent's movements.
sleep for you
: you may not sleep so comfortably or deeply
with baby near you.
transition to crib
: at some point, your baby or toddler
cosleeping will need to transition to his own bed. This can be
: as a couple, you and your partner may feel you
lose too much of your privacy and intimacy when sharing your bed with
The two main worries I hear from parents are the safety and transition (
The safety issue can be dealt with but remains extremely important to keep in mind (sorry if I say
it again and again but it's important!):
when you co sleep, always
co-sleeping safety guidelines
Safety will always remain a concern when co-sleeping and that's why a
will likely be your ideal solution.
: it's true that some babies, and toddlers, and to be truthful, their parents, will
love sleeping in your family bed SO much, that transitioning to their
own crib or bed, while never impossible, can take a while at a later age. That's why, if you decide to cosleep
regularly, both you and your partner must be convinced 100%. So that if
transitioning takes a bit longer than you first thought, you won't not
mind too much.
Also, most babies actually transition quite easily under 1 year old.
Later on, towards toddler hood it is a good exercise in 'learning to
accept rules'. With your gentle guidance, your child can then learn to
sleep in his own ('big kid') bed, when you feel the time is right.
can help by getting your baby used to being in her own crib, while
still next to you.
Whether you co sleep or not is a very very personal choice. It can be
for some, and a
for others. And you can plan enthusiastically
before baby is born, only to find yourself doing the exact opposite
Both are good options, as long as you
do what feels best for you and your family, and make sure it's 100% safe at all times. Never hesitate to
discuss with me if you're unsure.
Heidi Holvoet, PhD, is the founder of the Baby Sleep Advice website and movement, an award-winning author, baby & toddler sleep consultant with 15+ years experience as well as a certified lactation counselor.
Over the years, Heidi has received several awards inluding a Mom's Choice Award (MCA) and National Parenting Awards (NAPPA) for her Baby Sleep Advice website, programs and books. Also, Baby Sleep Advice was awarded "Most Trusted Infant's Sleep Solutions Company 2023" in the Benelux Enterprise Awards 2023.
Heidi continually conducts personal research and participates in continued education and in that way stays up to date with current scientific and pyschosocial infant care.
She is also a member of the Association of Professional Sleep Consultants of which she was one of the earliest contributors. She obtained her PhD degree in physics at the University of Ghent in Belgium.
Heidi is passionate about helping babies and their parents sleep more and better, with her trademark approach that has been proven and praised time and again by parents worldwide to be effective and truly no-tears. Respect for you as a parent and your baby, is at the heart of Heidi's warm and kind support. Her approach always keeps in mind a baby's needs and abilities at any given age, is based on pediatric science and the most up to date knowledge in infant care and sleep science.