A nightmare
is a scary dream that is so frightening it completely
wakes up a sleeping child and leaves him/her scared afterwards.
They are quite common and usually harmless but by
recognising the bad dream, reassuring your child and using a few helpful
tricks you can avoid
most related sleep troubles.
Although more usual in toddlers and bigger
kids, they can
occur as baby sleep
disorders from as early as 9 months old.
(Note
that a night
terror is quite different from a nightmare. A night terror
is not a dream but rather how a child feels and reacts after waking
from a deep sleep.)
How to recognise nightmares
When your baby or toddler has a nightmare, you will know: she will wake
up, be frightened and cry or scream. She will need your reassurance
before she can go back to sleep.
Usually they occur
in the second part of the night, towards early morning.
If your child wakes up screaming in the first part of the night, she
may be having night
terrors in stead - or just need a night feeding of course ...
;)
He/she will normally remember what happened, also the following morning.
Anxiety
is a
common cause of nightmares. That includes scary images or
experiences
during the day but also being afraid of the dark or of being alone or
going to sleep alone.
How to help your baby
What you can do to prevent
sleep problems because of scary dreams:
Make sure your baby sleeps in a safe environment that also
reassures her. Install a night light. Leave the bedroom
door open when possible and assure her you're always near during the
night. Use a gentle and relaxed bedtime routine.
From when your baby is very young, even
before having nightmares, talk
about dreams from time to time.
When you pick
her up after sleeping, ask her if she's been dreaming,
what she has seen in her sleep. I used to jokingly ask if they dreamed about me this time?
This is a
really simple way to learn that it is normal, and good, to have dreams.
Also tell
her that all she sees is not real, rather that it is like a story on
TV. This will help her understand scary dreams later on.
Briefly
talk the dream through right after it happened: let
your child tell you what she saw.
If she's too
young to do that, you
can do it for her: "You
had a bad dream, right? I think you saw something you didn't like and
it may have scared you. That's why you woke up. I know it's not nice
but luckily it was just a dream ...".
No need to go
into full detail, the main point now is to reassure her.
If something in her room scared her, now is a good time to check
together: nothing under the bed, the cuddly toy is actually a nice soft
one ...
Bring her back to bed once reassured - or stay with her until she's
reassured. Tell her you'll come back and check on her soon.
Before she goes to sleep again, help
her get
rid of the scary thoughts (which can still linger) by provoking fun images.
Talk to her
about
something she likes and try to bring up those images in her mind. For
example: Let
me tell you about swimming dolphins. Dolphins are very good swimmers,
can you see them, in the ocean? They swim and swim, and then jump high,
and swim again ...
This is a
great way to get rid of the scary images so she can go back to sleep.
The next
morning, talk about the dream again, this time in more detail. You can also
have her make a drawing of what she saw if she likes.
Try
and identify what scared her most. It will usually be an
imagined animal or scary person, but it can also be something or
someone real, or something that happened.
Through
talking, or looking at the objects or images that scared your baby
together during the day, you may be able to relieve some of the fear.